Sunday, August 16, 2009

Don't Blink

So, not only did our daughter just turn 16 - yesterday we took our son to college. 2 milestones in 2 weeks. I'm not sure I'm up to this. No, he's not moving cross country. Yes, he'll be close enough to come home on the weekends, but still I can't help but remember that little blue-eyed baby who needed me for everything. Needless to say, I will NOT be perusing the scrapbooks and photo albums for a while, because I'll turn into a big tear-stained mess.


I'm thankful though because our children are entrusted into our care to raise and to love and to eventually send out into the world and become independent and it comforts me to know that he's not out there completely alone. God loves him even more than I do and I have to let him go in order for God to accomplish what he has set out to do. I know it's time and I know that the Lord has prepared me for this and I am confident in the young man that seems to have sprouted overnight.


In case y'all haven't figured it out - I tend to get emotional easily. I don't anger easily, but play 'Don't Blink, or "It Won't Be Like This For Long", or "I Can Only Imagine" and watch me bawl. The kids have me pegged. They know which songs will start the flood. They look over at me at the pivotal part of the movie to see if "Mama's crying". They know which commercials make my eyes well up. They think it's funny and in turn, that makes me laugh too.


I knew this day would come. I just didn't think it would get here so soon. It wasn't that long ago he was just a wee little lad:




I have been truly blessed to be a stay-at-home mama. I worked until the day I went into labor. DH and I had discussed this beforehand and although there were plenty of times we had to pinch pennies, we never went without and the blessings along the way have been too numerous to count.


Now, I'm not against working moms. In fact, I stand in awe of how y'all get it all done, but this was simply the right choice for us. The kids were in school for a few years before we began to homeschool and I subbed every day DH didn't need me to help him. It was hard! I also automated a library for about a year. We spent so much time there that they hired me, but that's the extent of my working Mama experience and my hat's off to all of you who do it each and every day.


Even so, all the countless hours I had to enjoy raising our children disappeared all to quickly. I have always been cognizant of time moving quickly, but it still caught me by surprise. I think my penchant for photography might be my way of stopping time or at least capturing it. I treasure those snapshots from childhood and we have all spent countless hours flipping through the photos, reminiscing. We never took big, fancy vacations, but I don't think the kids missed that. Our albums are filled with the small everyday moments that make a childhood memorable. At least I hope they remember those times fondly.


Yesterday was a good day. Everything went smoothly. There were so many employees and upperclassmen there to help and the moving part was painless. The trip to the bookstore...not so much. This is what $500 looks like. OUCH!

I never lived in a dorm, but I have forgotten how tiny they are! He's on the 6th floor. At least he has a view of some open spaces:


I think this is the tallest building this country boy's ever even been in.



I think the most difficult part of the transition will be sharing a small room and the lack of quiet. Heights aren't really his thing either, but I think he'll be ok.

We met his roommate and they seem to be a pretty good fit - both boys came armed with the mandatory camo accoutrement's.

DH and DD and I left after dinner and headed back home. I faired better than I thought I would, but good gravy, it was hard driving away from there! The tears come and go at the oddest times. I'm just trying to keep busy. I worked in his room yesterday. I counted 23 guitar picks! Now I think I'll work on some simple pillow shams for 2 huge pillows he can throw on his bed in order to make it a bit more comfortable.

Last night DD was IMing on the computer and I asked her who she was talking to. She was talking to her brother. LOL! Then a bit later, he and I had a conversation over texts. My goodness, how the times have changed. We didn't even phone home much when I was in college because it was too expensive and no, that was NOT during the ice age as our children like to call it!

He just phoned DD - one of her favorite bands is playing a concert at the college. She's envious, but I told her her she would be heading off before long herself, but I would rather NOT have to think about that at this juncture.

I had a hard time going to sleep though. I really missed hearing his guitar that he plays every night and when I got up in the middle of the night, his room was empty.

He was up and about awfully early this morning and headed to breakfast and then church - good boy.

I'm trying not to hover. I've been called a mother hen on more than one occasion - by my own mother no less, but I think I've done a pretty good job of letting go.

Now if I can just make it through until Friday...he's coming home for the Ranch Rodeo! Gotta remember to make his favorite cookies to take back with him...

So for those of you who are raising little ones, you may think the days are dragging by, but be forewarned...don't blink...

6 comments:

Cow Pies & Mud Pies said...

AAAwwwww...I can't imagine that day! Don't want to even think about it. It will be here all too soon. You sound just like me! My boys and DH always look at me during certain songs, commercials, etc. and say "yep, mom's cryin"! Will say a prayer for you as I have several of my friends who have sent their babies off to college this week...Have a wonderful week...you have a handsome son, although we've never met in person I know in my heart that you are a wonderful person who has raised a wonderful son!

Lori aka A Cowboy's Wife said...

Oh my goodness:) I wont' have to deal with that with Tyler because he wants to go straight to Arizona to work on a ranch but Toby? You bet and it's gonna be so hard.

Such a bitter sweet moment--it's an accomplishment but letting go is hard. ;)

Hope your young lady had a wonderful B-day;)

Paula said...

Ah, Sweet Friend, I'm sitting here crying with you. I'm easily brought to tears as well, but I am a quick popping firecracker as well, to my fault. I think that child of yours is ready for whatever life my throw at him because he has a solid foundation with a great set of parents!

Karin said...

Thanks for all the words of encouragemeny girls! They are greatly appreciated. So far, so good. College life seems to agree with him and it's easier for me, knowing that he's happy and doing well. I'm gathering little bits and pieces of things I know he'll enjoy for a care package and somehow, that is soothing. Those of you that have yet to reach this stage, don't fret. I too could not imagine sending them off, but God is faithful and He really does prepare you in His timing, which we all know is perfect.

MamaBee said...

hello! I found your blog this morning and enjoy it.
I had one for awhile than took a break, so the one I have now is brand new.
I have to laugh (and cry) with you..they do grow so fast, but they never stop being your babies...ours are all out of the house now, we see our two boys weekly but daughter and hubby live 6 hours away, so we tie up the phone/email/text lines daily!
I LOVE your quilt! When my oldest went to the CHP acadmey, I made him a "Jacob's Ladder quilt and for his graduation, embellished it with a gold badge, his ID # and date of service...makes me cry thinking about it!
Glad I found your blog and will keep reading between chores :)

Countrygirl said...

I just wanted you to know that we are lifting up your family in prayer for your loss. God is faithful and He will help you thru this!

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