Oye! It's been a crazy 11 days around here. We exceeded our bandwidth about 3 days ago, but we're shuffling forward.
My FIL called us, upset, on the morning of the 3rd saying my MIL had fallen again and was very confused. We told him to call 911, but he refused so we jumped in the truck and drove over. It takes us an hour. When we got there, she was sitting up at the kitchen counter, still confused, but that's not unusual, as she has dementia and there were no signs of a head injury. We thought possible UTI, but they don't talk about those kinds of things and my FIL still didn't want to go to the hospital. We had ordered oxygen the day before. We called home health care (that we had just started 3 days earlier) and they said she needed to go in so we made them go.
We stayed all day and then met up with our son, DIL, and granddaughter as we had a supper reservation
To celebrate our son's birthday
We were also keeping our granddaughter for 2 nights as our son and DIL had to leave the house at 2 a.m. so our son could catch a 6 a.m. flight out to Delaware.
DH spent Sunday in the hospital with mom, while I kept little E.
Treasuring every moment
I drove our granddaughter to school on Monday and worked the book fair for a couple of hours before scooting back to the hospital.
They kept my MIL for 3 nights so that she would be eligible for skilled nursing via medicare. My FIL was there for a few hours each day, but he is dealing with this by not dealing with it so we are tending to everything. Understandably, he is very overwhelmed. No one wants to be in this position, but we can't abandon my MIL.
Now, don't get me wrong. My FIL is the BEST. He's just VERY old school and neither of them have ever had to deal with elderly family...ever. And if something is unpleasant, and they don't talk or think about it...it doesn't exist. Sigh. So we're very grateful that we are able to help them navigate this difficult season.
The hospital is 1 1/2 hours away from us and on Tuesday they moved her to a skilled nursing care facility, another hour away. DH called his sister, in Texas, and said she needed to come. Everyone needed to be on the same page. She stayed with my MIL on Wed. and Thurs. during the day and drove back to Texas on Fri.
DH drove 3 hours to tend to our cows in Texas on Thursday and made plans for us to wean the calves in November.
On Thursday, I drove to the town we do our business in and spent the day touring skilled nursing facilities, as the current 5 hr round trip to see my MIL multiple times a week is not feasable.
DH and I met up as he came back from Texas at 5:30 and grabbed something to eat. It was 8 when we got home.
Friday, he had to load his horse and drive back in because he is a judge for the 2 day ranch rodeo.
I drove down and spent the day with my MIL, drove up to our gate just after 7 and realized I didn't have a gate key because we had given the one I keep in the truck, to my BIL when he stayed with us. 🙄
No big deal, except I was just plumb give out. So I walked down our very steep hill to the house (a ways, but just 0.2 of a mile), in the dark, got the key, walked back up the very steep hill, unlocked the gate, and drove back down. You can see the pindots of light after you drive through the gate and take the curve...that's the house and barn
I fed horses, bees, cats (too dark to find the heifers), shut up chickens, and found a visitor in the barn. 😂 I just backed out and let the stinker be. I was too tired to do anything else. The thought of having to de-skunk myself or Skeet was just too much.
Saturday morning, I tended to critters, made a quiche so we'd have something to eat on Sunday, packed and drove to town to help DH, and meet up with our DIL and granddaughter for the ranch rodeo
and carnival at the fairgrounds.
She got to ride with Pap while he warmed up his horse
Concession stand hot dog...
And spiffy pink boots for the win!
A good friend puts on this ranch rodeo and he comps us motel rooms for the 2 nights so after getting DH's horse fed, watered and settled in for the night,
We hit the hay too.
Most importantly though, my MIL is doing better. It's doubtful she'll be able to come home, but she's well enough to complain about the food and honestly, she's not wrong. 😉
DH is headed to see his mom today and hoping to get her transferred closer and I am spending the day at his folks' home, cleaning with Jesus.
It's very wise of you to get your MIL to a facility where she can be cared for. All too often, there's a fall, a broken bone, slow recovery at the hospital, then pneumonia, then passing away. I was a medical transcriptionist for 20 years. Sometimes the script varied slightly, but not by much. Some recover and age gracefully. I sure hope you can get some good rest this week and catch up with yourself. Do take care.
ReplyDeleteOh my, oh my- I feel for you! Taking care of the generation before us can be so difficult. We all do it with love in our hearts, but it really can take a toll on us as well. Try not to burn the candle totally out, and I know that is easier said than done. At one point we were tag teaming with siblings, but my MIL was 600 miles away from us. She is "happy" now in her assisted living- but I had to laugh when you mentioned that your MIL complains about the food. I think it is a common thing, perhaps because they did their own cooking for 60, 70 years. Take care, and enjoy that adorable little E Love the boots!
ReplyDeleteKathy
Sending you prayers. My husband is an only child and we had a similar experience with my MIL. It’s so hard. Hopefully you will have a much slower week. Glad you got to spend time with E in her adorable pink boots. On a funny note, my mom liked the smell of skunk! She said it smelled like fresh cut grass! I am 63 and have never met another person who likes the smell of skunk.
ReplyDeleteA lot to do and a lot to consider, so here’s a LOT of hugs! Will be keeping you all in prayer…
ReplyDeleteOh My, such a difficult time in your lives! Best Wishes for the future, especially for your in-laws. Life can change so quickly. Beautiful scenery from your deck, very refreshing.
ReplyDeleteYou guys have our hands full and I send thoughts that all works out for everyone. My mother will be celebrating her 90th mid November. She fell in January, breaking her hip, repair didn't work, had to have another surgery, got pneumonia and spent a few weeks in rehab. My mother is a very strong woman, lived alone up until all this. We (me and my two siblings who live near Mom) thought we would have so much trouble convincing her to go to an assisted living. Nope, Mom met some ladies in rehab who were headed to the assisted living in our hometown in Arkansas and she decided that's where she wanted to go. She is content but also complains about the food--and rightly so! As my dear FIL always said, "growing old is not for the faint of heart) and he lived to be 96 years old with his brain intact!!--but I also say, helping our loved ones grow old is also not for the faint of heart! I hope decisions are made and all goes as well as it can with your in-laws!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are going through this rough period right now. I always think, someday that will be me needing the help, we can't predict the future. This makes the picture of little E and her great-grandmother all the more precious. I hope her transfer closer to you happens and it will be easier for you and your FIL to visit.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness, Karin! I hope Jesus helped you with the cleaning, like he has everything else. Sounds like Little E is a bright spot for you. I can’t imagine how your in laws have never dealt with elderly family. That alone would likely make them more difficult to help. Maybe her staying in a nursing home will be a blessing in disguise in some ways, but first you need to get her moved closer to you. Please let us know how things go. Keeping you and your family in thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness--I am exhausted just reading about part of what you went through this past half month--I can know alittle bit about helping with older parents--though mine were only 73 yrs old when they passed--but both had health issues the last 2 years they lived--cancer--!! I am 78 1/2 now and have 2 grown children who do not understand the problems of older folks--they still think I am 40--and that I can do everything by myself--I have decided--families are complicated and that we sometimes just have to love each other as is and do what we are physically able to --and that we have to take care of us--so we can continue to care for others--not sure I am making sense here--just know that I am praying for you and your family--hugs, di
ReplyDeleteMay God give you and your family the strength and rest needed to help shepherd DH’s parents through this next phase of life.
ReplyDeleteWhere would we be without Jesus on days like this?
ReplyDeleteThat is a lot. But I understand the Ostrich Approach... its not so helpful to you, but!! Sometimes... I hope it all sorts out soon and everybody is in a safe place. Hugs to you both and so grateful you are there to help them navigate this next season.
ReplyDeletePink boots for the Win - I think Grandma needs a pair too!!!
Good heavens! You had quite a week. Glad your MIL is doing better. Your granddaughter is so cute. Good luck! Laura
ReplyDeletenursing home care is expensive, hope she doesn't burn thru all her Medicare days!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about MIL. getting old is so hard. My husband is 20 years my senior and he has Alzheimer and his legs don't support his weight anymore. We don't qualify for Medicaid, and I couldn't afford to pay the cost. I spoke to every health care person that would listen. I was lucky to speak with an advocate that told me to call Hospice. I have done that. He gets a visit twice a week from a nurse and once a week from a bath aid. I'm starting to look for someone to come and sit with him a few hours several times a week. I need to get out of the house from time to time. At least I live in the city, and everything is close to me. Your in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteWhat a terribly challenging time for you and your family; I've been in a similar situation, but in an urban area with lots of resources. The idea of all those 5 hour drives is just beyond my imagination. Bless you and yours.
ReplyDeleteCeci
wow...just wow...
ReplyDeleteI worked in a nursing home for 17 years and my mother was there for 9 years. That is their only control….food! My mom was so sick of green beans! But there are only so many veggies! That is all there is! Oh, and the cheese cake dessert on Sunday, every week? Really? Oh boy! Ha, I totally understand!
ReplyDelete