Yes, it's been quiet on the blog-front. And yes, I've been away from my dirt road again. I spent a couple of weeks in Texas, tending to a very long to-do list and I just couldn't manage to fit time in front of the computer for blog-writing amidst the endless phone calls and appointments. I still had calls to make to Europe to folks who do not speak English. I can understand German, but my ability to carry on a conversation is laughable. Google to the rescue and I was pleased that I thought of it. I simply opened a translation site and typed what I wanted to say in English and then read the German translation to whomever I was speaking to. I had to call my mom's oldest friend. Their mothers were friends and they were both born within days of each other so they've been friends since birth...81 years. Difficult, but necessary conversations. I started going through easy things at the house and smiled when I found a folder with the Christmas card list dating back to 1972:
My parents were both uber-organized and fastidious, which I did not inherit, but it makes things easier for me although there is still so much to go through:
I brought a notebook with me from home and I designated a page (or more) for each day, listing the things I had done. HUGE help because I will never remember what I did when. Maybe that tidbit will help someone else in a similar situation at some point. My parents were real estate brokers for 35 years and they kept every single contract ever written:
I have 42 of these banker's boxes to contend with and I'm bringing then back to the ranch to burn. I spent part of one evening in the company of the residents of Mayberry and piles of change:
Mom's bank does not have a change machine and I am too frugal to pay at one of the machines at the grocery store so I rolled change. Added bonus is that this brings back fond memories of my Daddy. He always emptied his change into a large jar throughout the year and he used the accumulated change for Christmas gifts when I was a child. DH and I have always had a change jar too.
I've started sorting through piles of my parents' memories and I feel like I'm intruding. I never snooped through my parents drawers. As a child I never even went into their bedroom so I feel as if I'm invading their privacy, but it's unavoidable. This trip I mostly tended to things that needed immediate attention and then came back home.
I always take the backroads. One of my favorite little towns is Mason. Through the years I have often stopped at the local antique store:
I bought one of my favorite cookbooks here years ago:
And I plan to stop for a bite to eat at this sweet little cafe next trip:
Hard to resist this cute face:
And I am always charmed by small town courthouses:
Alas, when I drove through this past Friday morning I was heartbroken to see this:
This 111 year old courthouse was set ablaze the previous night by an arsonist:
Thankfully, it was empty, as it was scheduled to be renovated, but it still saddens me to see the destruction:
16 comments:
I feel for you having to go through your mother’s things. My MIL passed away in November but my husband had sold her duplex in July. We had cleaned out the majority of things the previous summer. We were overwhelmed by all the stuff she had saved! It did feel like we were intruding!!! That’s a shame about the courthouse!!! I hope they catch whoever did it!
I've been wondering how you are and what you've been doing. HUGS my friend, my thoughts are with you.
Very difficult work, and I am sorry you have to go through this. I do not understand arsonists...what a loss. Hugs!
Whew--as I've said before, my husband was an only child and we lost his 96 year old father about two years ago. Michael's parents were not "keepers" and we had an easy time disposing of his stuff. Wishing you all the best with your efforts! We once thought of buying property in the little town of Mason--those courthouse photos made me sad too!
I kinda thought that's maybe where you were. Sounds like that process will require a few more trips-one of the difficulties at this stage in life when you are an only child. And you should never say you aren't organized! Good GRIEF, I've seen your grocery and recipe lists! HA That is TERRIBLE that some idiot torched that courthouse. It's insanity. I know a couple of males that were so glad you made it home (as I know you were as well).
Welcome home!
It’s difficult but necessary work to go through the things we accumulate on our life’s journey. Breaking the job down into manageable chunks will make it easier but be prepared to get sidetracked with memories and overwhelming emotions. Hugs
Hugs to you as you continue on these last loving tending chores for your parents. Go gently and stay well.
You are left with a huge job and at times it may feel like you are throwing away your parents lives - you are NOT (but it does feel like that). My advice: keep a few items for yourself and family and then donate the rest knowing your parents are helping others even after they are gone. That knowledge alone makes the task at hand so much easier.
Ps - save 5-6 pieces of clothing from your parents to make a memory quilt for your future grandchildren. The quilt will be your way to tell stories about your parents and keep their memory alive.
I believe you are way more organized than you give yourself credit for. I am sure what you are dealing with is going to take quite a bit of time. Your Faith and Strength are admirable. Take care of yourself.
That would be overwhelming to do alone. It took 4 of us every Saturday for months, and then several other days along the way to finally get my MIL's home cleaned after she passed. But she was a saver, which is putting it nicely. :)
Must be such an emotional journey. I am glad to see you treat yourself to some bits of joy along the route.
That is so sad about the courthouse.
I’ve been wondering how things were going. I’ve continued to pray for your peace. You always have such a positive attitude and I’m sure there are times you’ve been overwhelmed. Thanks for catching us up on your journey🤗
Such a lot of work to get through all on your own! Glad to hear you went back to the ranch for a recharge.
You might consider using a shredding service for your parents' business records. Ask at your mom's bank if they offer this or can recommend one.
I've been seeing ads for Good Shred on TV. It's part of Goodwill. They say they shred hard drives, too. I've never used them or know anyone who has, so I have no idea how they work.
If someone asks how they can help, this might be a project you can turn over to them.
It might be much easier to burn the old contracts. I did some major shredding last year and found that 1" of paper shredded filled a brown paper grocery bag. Much easier to burn, although time-consuming. Then there isn't anything left to haul to the recycle place.
Doesn't this tell us all that we need to clear out more? I sure do try over and over, but the memories tend to get really heavy and then I have to stop.
Best Wishes!
I've always disliked the term "closure" because it's overused and often sounds like psychobabble. But there is a closure when you have to go through your folks' house and see to all their things. My mom was a miniaturist. Her attic was literally FULL of shoe boxes of all the throw-away stuff she never threw away, because she could make the most amazing things out of old pill bottles and scraps of wire.
It's hard work, but healing work if you do it right.
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